It is my birthday this month! If you want to please me, simply get me an e-gift voucher here.
It is my birthday this month! If you want to please me, simply get me an e-gift voucher here.
Personal slavery certainly has very bad name amongst us pro-dommes and I know of very few colleagues who even entertain the concept.
This is very understandable as people applying for the position of a personal slave often have at least one of the following goals in mind:
1) get free sessions (possibly in return for some sloppy housework)
2) ego-booster (by getting to know a renowned pro-domme)
3) ambition to become a pro-domme’s boyfriend, lover, husband, sex slave
4) other agenda (e.g. desire to earn money off the pro-domme by starting some sort of business or project with her)
To invest time and efforts into a wannabe personal slave is simply not worth the trouble for the majority of pro-dommes.
Unlike many of my colleagues, I have been more optimistic about the potential of individual hand-picked personal slaves probably from the very beginning of my femdom career. However, it was not until 2012 that I found my “perfect slave” – generous, fun, obedient, intelligent and keen to please in many, many ways. If it sounds too good to be true, it was. The impressive package came with initially not so openly advertised romantic agenda, that the slave himself later called “Master plan”. The “Master plan” was really just a strong ambition to get married to an elite domme. That ambition did not materialize and the great chemistry we had for a couple of years eventually dissolved into frustration on both sides followed by my decision to call it the day.
I do not really mind if my personal slaves develop feelings for me (and they all do sooner rather than later) as long as there are no false expectations whatsover. I like my life drama and guilt free. My current D/s arrangements are somewhat less intense than the previous one but in the long term run feel a lot more satisfying. I know the slaves serve me because they think I´m worth their servitude both as a domme and a person, not because they hope to “own” me one day through marriage, exclusive romantic relationship or otherwise. It gives me great peace of mind. That being said, they both did exhibit some degree of jealousy and / or posessiveness on a couple of occasions but those were short-lived isolated incidents that are not worth writing about.
Occasionally the clients I session with ask me what it takes to become my personal slave. Often, they are those who happen to have massive foot fetish. When I start explaining all the various numerous ways in which my slaves serve me, the client seems to be very surprised indeed. I believe it is mostly the femdom videos that are to be blamed for those mens’ misconception.
If you also wonder in what ways exactly my slaves have served me, get inspired below.
Financially – gifts, sponsored trips, holidays, photo-shoots, fine meals, spa treatments, credit card etc
Butler duties, house work
Contributions to this website in the form of Journal entries
Personal service – foot massage, pedicure, manicure etc
For all sessions tributes are naturally collected even though the slaves are not considered clients.
If you are very sure you have what it takes, you can apply for the position of my prospective personal slave by email. Be ready to chat on Skype first and obviously tribute for my time is required.
It all feels really different all of a sudden. The dynamics is totally off as I don´t feel like dominating B. anymore. I also don´t feel like talking to him on Skype. When he asked me what I wanted to do during his visit this month, I said that it was up to him. That is so unlike me as I always like to decide.
He noticed that I hardly share any news with him these days.
I made the hard decision not pursue the relationship with B. anymore. We should probably talk about our problems and try to fix them but it´s difficult as we are spending very little time together these days. In the past the slave used to work on various projects but since the beginning of this year he has been working for one company full time. That makes it impossible for him to come to Prague as often as he and I would like to and I´m getting bored, frustrated and demotivated in the meantime. He accepted the decision without much fuss. How very grown up of him. Deep inside he probably felt relieved that he would get the opportunity to look for an exclusive female led relationship, something he longs for but I am unable to provide.
It has not sunk in yet.
I met the ex slave a few times since January. The first time I signed a new legal contract in which I was giving him my half of the property back. The other times he brought me a few things from The Netherlands and I helped him order some furniture for his flat. We also had lunch on one occasion. I think it was then and there when I realized that although I still enjoy his company a lot and he can make me laugh so easily, I am not especially interested to be his friend. It´s weird and wrong but I still feel like I should lead and guide him. I guess old habits die hard.
When I tried to explain that perhaps we should not see each other again as I found it upsetting, the slave somehow reacted to it more strongly than to the actual break up. I can´t really get my head around it. Maybe he felt I was rejecting him not only as a slave but as a person too but that was not the case. I was just desperate for us to move on.
Although genuine sadness followed our break up, I do not regret the decision as it eventually resulted in some extremely positive developments in my life. A few months after we split, I adjusted my life priorities and made a major personal decision that helped me grow as a person and move forward. I also realized that although in theory everyone is replaceable, people don´t really need to be replaced at all. When someone considered special is gone, you just learn to appreciate others more. By “others” I mean people, who would otherwise unjustly end up as no. 2 at best as they would never be given the chance to live up to their full potential. You open your mind, the universe takes notice and rewards you in ways you never thought were possible.
A few days ago slave B. and I had an argument. The true is that he just wanted to talk while I freaked out. He’s generally a calm person and I’m the exact opposite. He brought me new iMac, a late birthday gift that he could not afford to buy back in April due to other expenses he had at that time.
I wanted to rewrite our Mistress-slave contract to motivate the slave to help me earn my own money rather than give it to me directly in the form of regular tributes. He could achieve this through referrals and advertisements he would place on my websites, some of which would need to be built from scratch.
Unfortunately the slave was not interested to sign the new contract as he wanted to cancel the tributes altogether and immediately despite of the fact that he never completed any of the projects he was assigned in December 2012 while we were on holidays in Portugal.
I know he’s generally quite busy with work but I also know that often it is time mismanagement rather than anything else. When I first started training him, some of the session reports he was supposed to write for me were seriously delayed. At the same time he was seeing his ex girlfriend relatively often. That time could had been spent working for me. I could come with other examples like this but the point was already made. To be fair, he has done a lot of work for me over the years, including having built a few websites for me, promoting my services, book, writing the Diary and much more. One cannot expect people to always deliver, not even when those people are slaves.
However, what do you do, as a Mistress, when the slave decides to make his own rules all of a sudden? If that happens with a new slave, you just dismiss him. What do you do when the slave has been serving you very well for a few years and you have grown to like him? That is a horrible situation, one that has no solution. I have always seen the power exchange element of our relationship as the most important one, very closely followed by the extraordinary connection we seemed to have from day 1. No doubt some of the connection is linked to the power exchange itself but not all of it is. Even when we do nothing femdom related, it is still there.
The second part of the argument was also money related. The slave scolded me for having spent too much money on his credit cards recently. Although I have full access to his bank accounts, I have never actually logged in and we have not talked about his budget as much or as often as we should have. Typically I would only use the card to pay for books and cosmetics, but I did feel the need to buy some clothes and shoes for the new flat as I wanted to avoid the hassle of packing / unpacking and having to travel with a suitcase each month, taking the risk that something might be missing when needed. In the hindsight, I should had just coped with it for a few months and buy it later. In the hindsight, he should had politely asked me to stop using the cards for a while once he felt there was not enough money available. I would had understood.
When B. asked whether we were having a professional relationship, I just lost it. I could not believe how insecure he was. I’m a short fuse person and I just ended up throwing both credit cards at his feet. I thought it was all escalating in a really bad direction so I told him to take his credit cards and the expensive birthday gift he just gave me an hour ago and to leave my house. He was somehow reluctant to leave but I assured him that we would meet the next day after I had the opportunity to calm down. Eventually he left. The iMac and the credit cards remained in my house.
The true is that it was the slave´s idea to give me the first credit card, online banking details etc. I say: Don´t give a person a box of matches to play with just to call “Fire” later. Metaphorically speaking, I could had burnt the whole house down if I wanted to.
Some of the frustration I felt and still feel was related to the fact that the slave´s servitude is not as consistent anymore as it once was. Things like a bit of promotion on Twitter take hardly any time and are clearly beneficial for me. There was almost none of it recently. I also realized that we don´t chat on Skype very often anymore. On top of that, B. generally acts far less submissive towards me these days than he did in the past. Clearly, he is not as motivated as he used to be. I also feel that he acted too judgmental towards me without having acknowledged what had gone wrong on his side.
I have been spoilt rotten this month! About two dozen gifts have been ordered for me including those that are still on the way. Thank you, boys!
How I fell in love with Mistress Arella
As I write this journal it is St Valentine´s day, so I thought it would be a good time to tell you how I fell in love with my Owner Mistress Arella.
I have been visiting Pro Dommes my entire adult life and I have always thought of it as a fantasy of mine to be dominated, humiliated and punished by a beautiful woman. My visits to various Pro Dommes fulfilled these fantasies to a degree and within the set session periods I met some lovely ladies, however at no point did I fall in love with the domme I was sessioning with, it was purely a business arrangement at all times.
I first made contact with Mistress Arella in 2014 when I offered to chauffeur Her during a visit to London. Of course I also arranged to session with Her and on top of that Mistress accepted my invitation for lunch. A lovely experience to get to know Mistress Arella outside of sessions, which I had not been offered by previous Mistresses.
Mistress returned to Prague and I thought that would be that. To my pleasant surprise She kept in contact with me via Twitter & email. This eventually resulted in me finding myself wanting to please Her by way of spoiling Her with gifts, this became a regular occurrence and I believe Mistress Arella saw the potential I had to be a good long term slave.
Mistress returned to London in early 2015, when I spent a lot of time with Her both in and out of sessions, we fine dined at a few restaurants and went on a shopping trip at Westfield, where I spoiled Her with various gifts. During this visit there was a crossover in my life as a slave, instead of it being mere fantasy it was becoming reality, as Mistress Arella had taken an authority of my life outside of sessions. This had an effect on my mind where I was thinking of Her 24 hours a day, I was even dreaming about Her. This was exactly what I had been searching for my entire adult life. As close to be an owned slave as possible.
I think it was around this time that Mistress asked if I had fallen in love with Her. Maybe She had picked up on the tell tale signs. I refused to acknowledge my feelings back then as I am a person who does not declare my love for someone easily, but I think Mistress did not believe me anyway.
It was also at this point I realised that what I thought as a perfect marriage with my wife was not so perfect after all. I had spent time with Mistress Arella fine dining and had wonderful, interesting conversations with Her, I was finding that She was such an amazing person outside of being a domme. She was in fact my perfect woman in every aspect, some would say marriage material. I would actually be proud to introduce Her to my friends and family, She was that perfect. This also made me seriously question my own marriage and caused a few arguments with my wife to the point where I was considering divorce. Mistress Arella could give me everything I have ever wanted and I was prepared to give up my marriage for it, yet I still would not admit that I was now falling in love with Her.
It has taken me until now to admit I am in love with Mistress Arella. Why? because I had to be 100% sure myself, love is not a word I throw around easily like some men/subs do. I have taken time to get to know my Mistress not only on a professional business level but also on the personal side. Everything I have found out about Mistress Arella just makes me love Her even more, She is a genuinely lovely person, who, if the slave serves Her well, She will treat the slave well in return. The need to serve Mistress Arella keeps growing, it has become the most important thing in my life to please Her and make sure She is as happy as I can make Her.
I hope by admitting I am in love with my Owner I have done the right thing. I am so happy being Mistress Arella’s personal slave and that is all I need and will ever need. I will always be Her slave and she will always have full control over our Dom/sub relationship.
In June I will celebrate a very special anniversary – 10 years on the femdom scene! Back in 2007 I never imagined I could possibly last this long – the unpredictibility of the income, the timewasting morons, the insanity of some of the requests, the widespread misconceptions, the entitlement of the average “submissive” male as well as the frequent lack of respect or, occasionally, even plain rudeness. Not to mention the very low prestige of the profession itself.
Yet, ten years later, I am still here. While the first half of my Mistress career had been driven more by the economical factors, curiosity and perhaps some “f*ck you society” attitude, in the recent years it was mostly the great dynamics of my complex femdom arrangements and relationships and the posh lifestyle provided by my selected few personal slaves as well as special clients that made me stay.
Those 10 years have been fantastic in overall, with some downs and many ups. I got to travel extensively in Europe, visited US – both the West and the East coast and was repeatedly served up to very high standards in the Middle East. I have appeared in videos for a dozen of respected femdom websites such as The English Mansion, Woman Worship, OWK and many more. I self-published my memoir The Diary of a Kinky Girl that has been getting very positive reviews.
Life has various stages and so does one´s career and femdom career is no exception. I am now a different person than who I was in 2007 and thank God for that. I have fulfilled my various dreams while working as a domme and have had so much fun and pleasure over the years. However, I feel now it is the right time to explore other opportunities in life. In fact, this process had already begun for me last year and it proved transformative.
As of January 2018 I will stop seeing new clients for sessions so that I can focus on other priorities of mine. I will keep dominating my personal slaves and may be available for those I have met before if they can adjust to my schedule. I will not cease offering some types of online domination. Very motivated online slaves who manage to impress me over the period of a few months may get a chance to meet me. However, requests for sessions from strangers will generally no longer be dealt with. (I may possibly make an exception for clients booking an international assignment if I like the destination.)
Christmas is fast approaching so I think it is time to start advertising my seasonal wishes!
Recently I have revamped my public wishlist to reflect on my increased preference for experience as opposed to material goods. Don´t get me wrong, I still crave beautiful clothes, shoes and accessories, especially those that can be used in future photoshoots. I also still appreciate the every day sort of treats such as cosmetics or more casual clothes as they simply save me the money I would have to otherwise spend. The same goes for the UK Amazon gift vouchers. You just cannot go wrong with those. On top of that, I would be extremely delighted to get the iPhone 7 plus or a new fur coat. However, having had a very busy year with almost zero “me” time, this is what I would also like to get:
If you are a financial slave or are simply comfortable giving cash, you can do so here. Alternatively, ask for my UK bank account no.
**Thank you N. for sponsoring my holidays in Dubai and the chateau weekend.**
**Thank you K. for ordering the iPhone and sponsoring my photo shoot**
I´m wearing £1100 worth of leather in this picture, courtesy of my ever generous personal slave K. I guess I have a bit of luxury fetish although I´m currently trying to scale it down in some areas. After all there is only so much expensive clothes and shoes a girl can wear 🙂
Picture by charliepycraft.co.uk